Jan 24
A Letter to Some Men
Dear some men,
Of course, not all men. Only some men, particularly those flagbearers who are on #marriagestrike. This letter is for you. First of all, I want to appreciate you for the new raging Twitter sapatham (oath), kudos! Perfect response to those people who are telling criminalise marital rape. Let ṭhis country be warned! Strike is strike. It is indeed your rightful right to protest.
The thing is it feels like consent is not as simple as it seems. To consent is to agree to something but women..these women.. do they ever mean what they say?
BTW have you listened to this song where the Hero nicely explains what women mean when they say something? Apparently, they don’t mean what they say (if you believe this, you have been fooled) because in reality, women mean exactly what they say. So if you don’t understand them..ask for clarification.
Lyrics
Aaduvaari maatalaku arthaale verule
arthaale verule arthaale verule
Avunante kadanile
kadante avunanile
I wanted to type peppy background music also but I think that would confuse those who don’t understand the language. I don’t know why they say music has no language.
So translation in one sentence- Women’s words have different meanings. Yes means no, no means yes. That's two sentences actually. Two sentences you must throw in trash can.
Yaaaar …actually you know what some people might say there is a conspiracy to torture men and send them to jail. But no, this is not about men. Recognizing marital rape as a crime is about providing legal protection to women. Some men are so successful in making everything about themselves. But there might be a conspiracy to defame Indian men, I think. Maybe. Don’t you think? Some people are saying ‘Indian men’ must understand consent. See.. clear intent to defame. And why drag ‘Indian men’ into this mess. Why pick only men? Some Indians understand consent, some do not. Those who do not understand must try to understand for their own good. No means No. Haan, we know that. So plain and straightforward. No need to dig for any other meaning. But going to jail for not understanding yes means yes and no means no? Too much, eh?
Anyway. Some men, you are not someone who will sit idly when your beliefs, ideals, safety and security are being threatened. You are some men of action. Can you believe that there are women who don’t stand up for themselves? They simply keep suffering in silence. So this NCRB study shows that in year 2020 under the crimes against women category there were 1,11,549 cases of cruelty by husband or his relatives and 6966 dowry deaths -accounting for 19 dowry deaths each day. Oookay okay, I know you will ask (and you should!)how many cases were actually reported, how many convictions, acquittals, withdrawn cases and all that. I have a feeling you know all these numbers and more already. Why repeat.
However, I will tell for my satisfaction. Only 446 cases were registered in 2020 under the Domestic Violence Act. Why cases of cruelty by husband or his relatives are over 1 lakh and cases recorded under Domestic Violence Act only 446? Analysis of NFHS 2015–16 shows 99.1 % of cases of sexual violence against women go unreported and an average Indian woman is 17 times more likely to face sexual harassment from her husband. My point is despite all this they did not start any marriage strike sapatham campaign. All talk and no action. You are not like these women, you are men! Not all men but some men. You don’t have to suffer injustice that didn't occur yet. Better laws for everyone is overrated. Only solution is Marriage down down!
Anthem for you. Don’t Marry, Be Happy. (spoiler — hero marries in the end but ..forget that. nevermind)
Only literal English translation:
Hey brother, don’t marry. Marriage means 100 years fire..
Don’t tie knot because your karma is burnt. Wife means bhadrakali…
Marriage is full-time jail. It will drown your house…
Some people might find it confusing to understand that you are against marital rape ( if you don’t acknowledge marital rape as a crime — this letter is not for you. I want to say I wish you don't exist but I won't say it) and also against a law that punishes it. To be honest, it is confusing. But it is possible that emotions get better of human beings sometimes. Emotions are good, they make the case stronger but only when reason is not lost. But since #MarriageStrike is here already, it is not as if your feelings don’t matter. You are not a potato, you are human. That too from Earth ..not Mars. You also have emotions na. Over-burdening all men to be rational is actually sexist. I mean, honestly, some society that doesn't understand you doesn’t deserve your husbandship.
Whatever it may take, I hope you do not limit yourself to hashtag activism like others, let the movement flood your every nerve, every cell. Don’t give up. Be the change you want to see. Stay away from marriage. Good decision. Remember, you are serving a cause greater than yourself!
PS Everyone deserves justice. Next time, ask for stronger safeguards. Ask for laws that protect Everyone (people of all identities) from sexual assault. Just saying.
